Maybe I need to re-read the post on FEMA and mental illness! We're feeling a little crazy today thanks to them.
BTW, new post at Katrina Refrigerator here with lots of photos and notes. Still haven't gotten the rest of the photos uploaded but will.
Okay, back to FEMA! Or not.
Since 9.10.2005 we've been sending documents, photos, whatever was asked for to FEMA. We never got a single dollar and we won't. After getting another letter asking for yet more documentation a few weeks ago, I sent them everything we had ever sent them along with more photos and another letter. Here's how this worked, for those of you not in New Orleans:
First you had to register with FEMA. If they denied you, then you were sent to the SBA to apply for a loan. If they denied you, you were shipped back to FEMA for a grant. If that was denied you could then appeal. Got it? Well, we did it all. Everything they said they needed was sent.
Today we got two letters of denial. Two. For two different reasons, I might add. One was a denial for rental assistance, the other was for our storage unit with the reason given as "Other reason." Gotta love that. Now, just to make this more absurd, if that's possible, on the back of these letters are lots of "notices." Please keep the two words "other reason" in your head as you read this: "Money received from FEMA should be used as specified in the category (OTHER REASON) above. If you do not use the money as specified (OTHER REASON), you and/or your household may not be eligible for additional help from FEMA." Okay, I got it. If I had gotten money for "other reason" and used it for anything other than "other reason", then I couldn't get more. Well, that won't be a problem for us, but we are having a lot of fun with the language.
We opened the letters of denial (and there may be a way to appeal still more, but ya know, why?) read them and got into a giggle fit. We said, "We have a grandma, a mama and a FEMA. Our FEMA is like the crazy old aunt that is kept locked in the attic. Everyone knows she's there but no one's ever seen her."
Poor, crazy Aunt FEMA. Better track down a band for the funeral.
We went off on a stream of consciousness thing and wound up here:
Ding dong the Witch is dead! Which old Witch? The Wicked Witch.
She’s gone where the goblins go...below, below, below...
As mayor of the (Chocolate?) Munchkin City, in the county
of the Land of Oz, I welcome you most regally…
We’ve got to verify it legally, to see if she is morally, ethically, spiritually,
physically, positively, absolutely, undeniably and reliably dead.
As coroner, I must aver, I thoroughly examined her, and
she’s not only merely dead, she’s really most sincerely dead.
Lalala la, la la la la la la. . . . . . . . . . .We're NOT sending in anymore paperwork. We'll just put on our ruby slippers, say there's no place like home, get Ashley Morris's "Sinn Fein" piece tattooed on our backs, and revel in the knowledge that we're secure thanks to the Department of Homeland Security's FEMA division.
Ah. That feels much better. Nothing more to be done. Liberating in its own way!
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