Tuesday, March 20, 2007

Quick list of things overheard, seen, experienced

In the last couple weeks, there have been little weird things showing up in various ways in my life. Thought I'd just give you a quick list:

1. A knock on the door last night about 9:30PM. Sheriff's Department. The car had been left unlocked and someone had rifled through it stealing all my CD's but leaving the registration, for which I was grateful. Cops had seen the light on in the car, waited to see if we were coming in and out, and after seeing that we weren't, knocked on the door and checked it out with us. I thanked them. Still mourning the CD's.

2. Went to the Maple Leaf on Sunday, via cab. Got caught in the glorious colors of the Mardi Gras Indians that I had so wanted to see, but couldn't fit in. Found out that Taxicab Medallions are running at nearly $500K/per and are considered property that can be inherited.

3. Overheard at a parade, spoken by someone who has been in meetings with our Governor: "She has a DINNER bell that she rings when she wants to say something." Laughter all around, along with the question "DINNER BELL?? NO SHIT????" "Does it work?" "Yes, people are so shocked that they all get silent." "Is this done to get the meeting kinda called to order?" "No, she just rings it when she wants to say something, even if it has nothing to do with what we're discussing." That's discouraging, ain't it? Or would that be the Army Corps of Engineers and the PUMP/LEVEE situation? What if she stands in St. Bernard and rings it REAL loud? Will that help?

4. Our Mayor, stating the obvious in incendiary terms, while being one of the "thems" that he's talking about. Nothing more to say about this that can be said in polite company (not that that's ever stopped me before.) He needs to do something about the housing situation here, and I don't mean having the developers polish his, um, head. (No, you dirty minded people, the OTHER one.)

5. Learned a new term, "Going Bare" and thought maybe someone knew of a cool swimming hole or something. Found the term in an article here about people unable to afford insurance. I can hear the population of the upper 47 clucking about irresponsibility right now. Too bad they're not talking about the insurance companies. Wonder how many of those folks would do the same thing in the same situation? Um, ACoE, PUMPS??? LEVEES?

6. Having my hair cut, guy says, "Oh yeah, I talked to my homeowner's guy. Was told that if I rebuild on a slab, I can't get flood insurance, but if I raise the house like they want, I can't get wind insurance. No way to get both." Yoo Hoooooooo, blink blink, raising my shirt so my saggy boobs at least get their attention: ACoE guys, yeah, you cuties! PUMPS???? LEVEES????

7. Mortgage brokers in a panic. No insurance, no mortgage, no mortgage no commission. The insurance companies will shortly put mortgage companies out of business if they can't close loans. Having my daughter raise her shirt, that oughtta do it---Hey, sweetie, I'll show you a GOOD time (hey, kid, you're still my daughter, don't get out of control here, geez, you were raised up better than that!) if y'all give me some good PUMPS and LEVEES! (Still no response, but her father is having conniptions.)

8. Haven't actually counted them yet, and remarkably the Sheriff's didn't say anything as they peered into the interior of our car with flashlights last night, but have gotten maybe 20-30 parking tickets while parked in front of my own house. Don't have the "Marigny" sticker yet, was waiting for the registration, which finally came two days ago (thus my relief at finding the thieves hadn't stolen IT.) Lately the Ticketmeisters, not to be confused with Ticketmaster, have been out in force, even ticketing beer trucks and UPS or FedEx delivery trucks in the Quarter. The passenger side floor of my car is a really cool red/orange sea. I'll have to deal with all that here at some point. A cop friend said "Just go to court and get it all over with at once." Hey there, Officer, if I PAY them will the money go for PUMPS OR LEVEES? No? That's too bad.

9. Am hearing the spring birds and seeing yellow pollen all over, so for all of you sneezing from morning til night, it's time for the claritin, or the zytec or whatever you take.

10. And finally, if you're feeling old, fat, in need of a facelift, or something, please buy makeup and a copy of Photoshop instead. This will make your day:

Oh yeah, and I've had to breakdown and put the Comment control thing on the blogs. I really don't need spam for Asian porn or some of the other stuff that's been dumped en masse into the comments sections lately. I don't have time for that. I have tickets to pay.

And maybe a raft to build:::::::::muttering::::::Fix the PUMPS::::::::::Fix the LEVEES:::::::::Hey, am I talking to myself?::::::::

EDIT: Governor Blanco isn't running for re-election so may have to retire her dinner bell. And most of my CD's are still in my possession, but my husband can never again holler at me for not putting them in their cases. The cases were gone, but my lax CD storage techniques saved most of the discs.


ashley said...

You don't need Asian porn? Well, be that way, miss I'm-better-than-you-are. ;^)

I'm not buying the story about taxi medallions. This ain't NYC.

Leigh C. said...

I sure HOPE this ain't NYC. It means we spent a lot of dough on a moving van to travel in circles...

www.impatientzero.com said...

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Sophmom said...

Ashley's just jealous 'cause he gave up porn for lent. I'm thinking the Guv'nor will still be able to use her dinner bell when she's no longer in office, just without the same results. Great rant, Slate. I hope to see you Saturday night. Is your hair still platinum?